Bible Study with Danelle

I know I got behind and skipped over giving my commentary on the last few readings in chapters 8 and 9, but I wanted to spend some extra time on today’s reading as it is an issue that affects every married person (or those that are not yet married).

As we begin chapter 10, Jesus is continuing to travel and preach to the crowds that gather. To no surprise, the Pharisees continue to ask Him questions to try to test Jesus.

They as Jesus about divorce and if it is lawful. Jesus turns around and asks them “What did Moses say about it?” They tell Jesus that Moses allowed it. But here it the thing…Jesus points out to them that Moses did that becuase they had “hardness of heart”. We have heard that phrase before from Jesus, but what does it mean? I love the definition given on biblestudytools.com – “Hardness of heart thus describes a negative condition in which the person ignores, spurns, or rejects the gracious offer of God to be a part of his or her life.”

Basically, they had rejected God and therefore had rejected God’s true vision for marriage. Jesus goes on to tell them what that true vision is.

God made them male and female. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

Mark 10:6-9

I do not want to get too controversial in this post, but I know many people have different opinions on divorce, marriage, etc. Marriage is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. It does not matter if you have been married 1 year or 20+ years. There are always going to be challenges. There will come a time when you wonder if you just need to throw in the towel and say I am done. God, never said it would be easy. (And no, He does not expect you to stay in an abusive or destructive marriage.) Unfortunately, in our current society, we have become a throw-away culture. In the United States, 50% of marriages end in divorce and over 70% is not due to domestic violence.

Not “in love” anymore.

Too much fighting.

“Grown apart”.

Financial struggles.

Infidelity.

There are many reasons people give for getting a divorce, but I want to challenge that many of those reasons are due to a lack of including God in the marriage. Please know there is no judgment and only love coming from this post. I know that many of the difficulties Scott and I have had in our own marriage stemmed from not including God in it. Especially early on. But, I do know that as we have grown in our relationship with God, our marriage has gotten nothing but stronger and deeper than I ever could have imagined almost 23 years ago. That could have only happened because of God.

So here are just my thoughts, some based on experience, on how we can tackle some of the reasons for divorce and overcome them with God’s help. These are not the answer for everyone, but these are just my thoughts.

Not “in love” anymore – We need to know and understand what true, Godly love actually is. It is not the “honeymoon” phase of love that is romanticized in the movies. True love is unwavering commitment, integrity with our spouse, and completely unconditional.

Too much fighting – Are you praying together? Are you giving your problems to God to help you solve them together or are you trying to solve them alone?

“Grown apart” – Are you taking the time to truly be together? Not in front the TV sharing TikTok’s (guilty!), but truly spending quality time together. Even one dinner out a month can make a difference. Maybe attending a couples small group together at church?

Financial struggles – Are you controlling your money and resources or are you allowing God to be a part of those financial decisions? Where does your money go to first? Are you trusting God with the resources He has provided you?

Infidelity – Are we allowing someone else to come into our marriage (physically or emotionally) that tears apart our integrity with our spouse? Are we allowing the Holy Spirit’s gift of self-control to keep us faithful or are we succumbing to the work of the devil to split us apart?

If you are currently married, I pray over your marriage today. I pray that you will find ways to incorporate God more into your marriage and allow Him to work in his mysterious way. If you are not married yet, I pray for your future marriage relationship. May God bring the person into your life that is meant for you. God had a perfect vision for marriage. A perfect vision that was corrupted by evil. Don’t let satan win. Don’t let your hearts be hardened. I pray you will accept God’s gracious offer to be a part of your life and your marriage.